Meet the FigWiggy Live Cartoons
Annie Oddly
WARNING! Annie Oddly is a sexy songstress who will steal your heart. She is the best source of music business knowledge the world has ever known. If you are afraid of success you should avoid her advice. Her album will be available for purchase soon.
Shmilk
WARNING! Shmilk is a horrible creature bent on making the world a more miserable place to live. He is poisonous to happiness. He subsists on Skittles and cum. He openly mocks serious mental disorders and may trigger seizures. We do not recommend reading or watching his content. DO NOT TAKE HIS ADVICE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
We refuse to issue a Captain Save-A-Ho warning. We refuse despite the fact that he has been accused of contributing to stereotypes about women of the night. He has even been accused of being a pimp. Ridiculous lies! Captain Save-A-Ho is a noble hero. Hos don’t deserve this hero, but they need him.
Guenever
WARNING! Guenever has been reported to have radical views that may be especially harmful to male humans. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU CUT OFF YOUR PENIS BECAUSE A CARTOON GUILTS YOU INTO IT.
WARNING!
Sticky is a meth-addicted animated piece of wood. Following his “diet advice” will result in the development of a serious eating disorder. DO NOT TAKE DIET ADVICE FROM ANIMATED STICKS!
Don’t Do Drugs Bear
WARNING! The Don’t Do Drugs Bear is a drug addicted wild animal. His advice is known to officials to cause heart disease, diarrhea, hallucinations and fatal overdoses. Do not follow his advice. His first comedy album will be released soon and we hope you will buy it.
Sloppy Drunken Donkey Witch Ho
WARNING! Sloppy Drunken Donkey Witch Ho is an unethical, immoral, abusive madame. Her “parenting advice” is known to officials to, in fact, be child abuse. DO NOT TAKE HER PARENTING ADVICE! SEVERE INJURY OR DEATH MAY RESULT!
WARNING! If you think Dick Taco is anti-gay you are a moron. Dick Taco is the sweetest, most innocent, and loving taco with cocks for feet the world has ever known. He is a proud homosexual who supports his community.
WARNING! Abby Oddly has been accused of stealing jobs from hard working sex workers with unfair competitive advantages due to amazing cartoon boobs. Consuming her content is a slap in the face to at-risk sex workers everywhere.
WARNING! Opera Pussy is the classiest cunt to ever sing a tune. She is a perfect woman and her haters are jealous.
