5 People Cooler than You who Killed Themselves
The worst. The absolute fucking worst.

5 people cooler than you who killed themselves

Every few weeks we read in the papers about a new, tragic suicide. What’s really tragic is that many of the rock stars and celebrities who take their own lives actually have much more to live for than you do.

So here are 5 well-known people, way cooler than you, who killed themselves.

(Just for reference. I cannot legally encourage you to kill yourself.)

Robin WIlliams

This one still stings, doesn’t it? Robin Williams was a fabulously talented actor and comedian, beloved by millions. His smiles warmed the living rooms of countless homes. Williams took roles ranging from comedically brilliant to heart-wrenching and dramatic. He was a father, too. He had a whole lot going for him, and a world full of people who adored him.

He’s gone– and you’re still here.

Kurt Cobain 

Kurt Cobain was a sexy rock star whose music practically created a new genre. This flopsy-haired, flannel-wearing singer could probably get laid whenever he wanted to. And his last name sounds like cocaine, which is obviously really cool. Despite a career swelling with success and all the eager pussy he could have ever wanted, this man stuck a shotgun in his face and pulled the trigger.

Yet you’re still here.

Marilyn MOnroe

This sexy bombshell and wildly successful actress took her own life despite marrying two national icons and having a direct sex-line to the President of the United States. This young woman had options aplenty, and a long, fruitful, attractive life ahead of her. 

Yet, she took a massive dose of barbiturates and killed herself. And you’re still here. 

Ernest Hemingway

I can ERNESTly state that Ernest Hemingway was wayyyyy cooler than you. He was an internationally acclaimed novelist who, without a doubt, revolutionized the way novels are written. His books are still widely read by school children being taught life lessons, and about the greatness of the written word. 

Even with his widespread fame and success, this man pulled a gun on himself, believing life to be worthless. Yet you’re still here. 

Mike Alfonso, or “Mike Awesome”

This guy has awesome right in his goddamn moniker. Alfonso became famous in the WWE, and was one of the best and most widely acclaimed wrestlers in the history of the sport. He was ripped to shreds, tall, handsome, and could get laid on repeat despite his mullet haircut. That’s a powerful hunk of man.

Despite all this, he hung himself until he died.

And you’re still here.