Behind the Song: Cum Puddle Cleaner
As I approach the upcoming release of my album, “Songs About Sex,” I want to take you behind the music and tell you the true story behind ‘Cum Puddle Cleaner.’
It begins with a road trip. My sister, Abby, and I were watching Moulin Rouge when she insisted that we had to go see what a real brothel was like. She was insistent, and I was curious, so into the car we went.
Inside the Splooge-atorium
We entered nervously– as I’m sure many people do. But before we knew it, Madame Sin herself was right there by our sides, encouraging us to take a look around.
The front room was immaculate. Red plush couches lined the walls, with elegant lamps on either end. We stepped into the back, and it was there that we met him– the cum puddle cleaner.
Dressed in denim coveralls and carrying a bucket of cleaning supplies, this sweet little man wore a placid smile and moved from room to room as though he were dancing on air. All around us, hookers moaned big fake moans, and Johns grunted as they splooged everywhere. And each grunt just seemed to make this man’s smile bigger.
Meeting the Cum Puddle Cleaner
I had to stop and talk to him. I asked if my assumption was true– that he is the man responsible for cleaning the loads. He nodded serenely. I asked him how he ended up in a job like this– and why was he so happy?
He heaved a sigh, and I could see from the look on his face that in his memory, he was sailing through years and years of time here. What he told me was simple, honest, and I will never forget it.
The Wisdom of an Honest Man
“There are a lot of dirty fucks in the world, and a lot of dirty fucks like having a dirty job. And well, that’s me. Little lady… I just love cum.”
And with one final smile, he turned away from me. I could keep him from his life’s passion no longer– there were cum puddles to clean, and he was the man for the job.
I hope that one day, this man hears my song– my tribute to his simplicity and his passion.