Unpack Your White Privilege Backpack:
Let’s See What’s In The Bag, Whitey
My cis white readers may not be aware of this, but all of you walk around with an invisible backpack full of special advantages. This is your White Privilege Backpack, and your backpack of advantage makes your life an absolute breeze compared to the disadvantaged minorites which make up a majority of the world’s peoples.
These invisble backpack powers were crafted from the enslavement, genocide and tears of indigenous peoples. They were illegally and imorrally bequethed to you, the white decendants of patriarchal conquerers. You. Shame on you. Keep reading, whitey.
Are You Worth Helping?
By now, my straight white readers with even a shred of human decency should be feeling a tremendous amount of guilt. Any straight white readers who deny they carry an invisible backpack have just identifed themselves as horrible fascist opressors who deserve to be stomped to death by a liberated farm animal, such as the noble donkey.
If you feel the sickness and shame of your opressive whiteness deep in your guts, reach up to your preferred shoulder. Feel the aged leather strap of your backpack full of privilege. Gently slip off this strap.
Struggle with the panic of your white supremecy culture literally slipping off of your back while you quickly allow the second strap to fall down your opposite arm. Turn to see your invisible privilege backpack lying on the floor, invisible no longer. You should feel both lighter and deeply afraid at this point. Keep reading, whitey.
Let’s Look Inside
Reach down and unclasp the main body of the backpack. Try not be be sick as the stench of injustice that has been hidden behind you fills your nostrils for the first time. Tears are a normal reaction at this point.
Reach your hand inside the backpack. Feel that picture frame? Pull it out.
Now Turn Around
Feel the weight of the backpack inexplicably on your shoulders once again. You can’t see it anymore, but now you can feel it. You have to walk around with that backpack full of guilt for the rest of your life. Your blessing is now also your curse. You will never know the full evil of the contents of your stolen privilege but you will forever be concious of its foul stench. Take that, whitey.
Also, if you ever see or speak to your parents again you are a bad person and a racist facist.