A Taoist Exploration: Hurl Yourself into Weight Loss!

STICKY
Sticky is skinny which makes him a diet and fitness expert.

I want to begin this weight loss article with some inspiration from our friends in the East, and share with you the beautiful Taoist concept of Yin and Yang. Most Americans know Yin and Yang as a cutesy symbol to put on earrings, or a backpack patch. But the philosophy is more useful than a fashion statement.

According to the Ancient History Encyclopedia, “This principle is that all things exist as inseparable and contradictory opposites, for example female-male, dark-light and old-young.”

So to do we find contrasting opposites as useful components of weight loss.

Today, I’m going to talk to you about the harmonious combination of Binging and Purging.

THE BINGE        

Binging is about your most basic animal impulses. Eat until you can taste your own stomach acid gurgling up into your throat. Eat indiscriminately — chomp down everything from donuts to pure sticks of butter. You should eat so ferociously that you actually start to sweat. Tip: if you feel like you need to barf, simply swallow. That part comes later. Really go for it, like you’re trying  to get fat. This is essential to your “Yin”.

THE PURGE

Purging is the beautiful Yang follow-up to the Yin of the binge. After your gluttonous feast, you must barf like you’re on your deathbed. Find a toilet and really go to town. Resist the urge to chew your vomit… that would truly make you a fat fuck. Find pleasure in the harsh acidity shooting up your throat, out your mouth, and out your nose. That is the sweet aroma of weight loss. You are beginning to find peace and harmony.

By combining these tactics, you will experience the joys of eating a lot with none of the sorrow of being a fat ass. An added bonus: over time, your stomach acid will slowly erode the sides of your mouth. This will give you an enticing permanent smile! And, those bits of skin you’ve lost are simply extra weight lost. Every ounce counts!

May you find enlightenment in the Tao of Binge and Purge.