Lose Weight Fast with the Tapeworm Diet!
Sticky is skinny which makes him a diet and fitness expert.
Don’t Puke or Pray- Tape it Away!
Have you ever longed for easy weight loss? Of course you have! But what does easy weight loss look like?
I think that it would involve being able to eat what you want — ANYTHING you want — and still lose weight, without the need to puke or exercise.
Dear reader– I believe I have found this dream come true.
The Tapeworm Diet
The tapeworm diet involves swallowing a pill with the egg of a tapeworm parasite inside. At some point soon after, the egg will hatch, and the little baby tapeworm will use it’s tiny teeth to attach itself to the lining of your intestines. Then, it eats what you eat. It will grow inside of you, eating more and more. Meanwhile, the fats, carbs, and sugars you ingest don’t actually make it to your fat stores!
DANGERS AND COMPLICATIONS
When I find a diet miracle this amazing, I have one motto — disclaimers are for pussies.
I refuse to do any research on the subject of potential complications or damage to my stick-thin body. My priority is skinniness, always. If I am moving in the direction of skinny, I’m doing it right.
You’re either in or you’re out. If you go looking for pros and cons, you’re a pussy.
What if the Worm Gets Too Big?
Tapeworms are a relatively common affliction, and medications do exist to kill them. My plan as I embark upon this new weight loss journey is to eat the tapeworm egg, and if I ever see my weight loss plateau or stop due to the worm’s increasing size, I will kill it. Then, after I poop out its carcass, I will eat a new tapeworm pill!
And so continues the beautiful circle of weight loss.
Are you going to try the tapeworm diet?
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