How to Know If You’re a Fascist Piece of Shit
Most disgusting fascists don’t even know they are fascists. Terrifying, isn’t it?
My deepest fear is that one day, I will wake up to find that, without even knowing it, I have become fash. This vision haunts me.
That is why, every day, I run myself through this checklist to make sure I am still an acceptable human.
To know if you are a fascist, answer the following:
- Do you own a business, or, are you a manager who accepts a higher salary than your staff?
- Have you ever seen someone with a beard in the ‘Ladies Room’ and assumed they were in the wrong bathroom?
- Have you ever uttered the name “Donald Trump” without gagging powerfully?
- Are you white? If so, have you apologized for your whiteness within the past 24 hours?
- Are you a cisgendered male?
- Have you ever uttered the despicable phrase “all lives matter”?
The correct answers to these questions are “No,” “No,” “FUCK no,” “No / yes”, “I’d die if I was,” and “cut out my tongue if I ever did.”
Those answers escape my lips every morning when I wake, and check myself to see if I am still woke.
If any of your answers differ from mine, you are a fascist piece of scum. You must heal yourself immediately. You may begin by dressing in all black and hurling cans of tear gas at Trump supporters. After that, the journey is yours to take.
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